Saturday 6th Feb

Snowpocalypse really is here. There looks to be a vast depth of snow out on the street, and it’s scheduled to snow another 2-3 inches every single hour until 10 pm! I figure that we will be about 2 feet under by then. My stay in the hotel expires today and it’s a bit pricey by myself to pay out of my own pocket so I’m going to bravely venture across to Maria from the lab’s house. She only lives 10 minutes away in fine weather, but I’m thinking that with my suitcase this will be quite the challenge.

I just had a somewhat surreal conversation with Holly the hotel manager and another lady staying here. Holly was talking about calling PepCo (presumably a utility company) in the event the electricity went down, and the other lady thought she was talking about calling PetCo. I suggested we could burn pet food for fuel. Holly thought I was suggesting that I burn her pet dog! Once we’d cleared up that misunderstanding the other lady told us about a film where Denzel Washington cooks a cat and makes lip gloss out of the fat.

Oh yes, I checked the United website and my flight definitely was cancelled. I’m so glad that was pre-emptively sorted out 2 days ago.

I painfully hauled my stuff over Maria’s, unaided by the fact that I apparently can’t read a map and ended up going the long way round. I took quite a while given that there was over a foot of snow at this point. I then went to have jambalaya at the only café still open, café New Orleans.

Once I got back, I sent an email to Rob of the NRL’s “snowed-in in DC” list. He’d had a load of friends come down for his wife’s birthday party in a bar where he lives outside the city, and of course it got cancelled as no-one could get there and the bar was probably closed anyway. Justin from the lab tried to persuade me to go to a massive snowball fight in Dupont Circle, but it was this email from Rob’s rugby friend Ivan that made my decision for me:

“I love the idea of wandering the streets and finding you. I am with my friend Jorge, trying to persuade him to join me. I must be brave. But I have been living in Florida and become somewhat of a coward when it gets cold. But at one time in my life I was tough, and I must revive that part of me. So, Jorge and I will walk and try to find you. It might take a while. I will have my phone with me and a sack full of cookies and Guinness. I look like a lumberjack. And I have not shaven in days. Jorge resembles a burnt out 1970s rock star. See you soon. Don't forget to mind the gap, always. “

What sane woman could refuse an invite like that? I resolved to set off sight seeing on foot, and to triangulate Ivan and Jorge through text messages en route.

I saw the snowball fight in Dupont (these crazy Washingtonians), and I stood on the sidelines taking photos like the wuss that I am. I walked all the way to the White House and the Washington Monument, which was all very lovely in the snow. Ivan got delayed as his mother was telling Jorge a long story about a time she drove into a canal. Further delay ensued when they had to help a nurse get to work. Finally we were on a direct collision path, I was on the verge of frostbite, I found the one open bar for miles around, and the idiot staff wouldn’t let me stay as they didn’t accept European driving licenses as ID. But there’s a blizzard out there, and I have about 5 cards in my wallet to prove I’m 25! No can do, we only accept state drivers’ licenses. I staggered out of the bar in a blind rage, heard my name, and marched up and gave Ivan a big hug.

We went and had beer and soup in an Indian restaurant. Ivan and Jorge gave me some spare socks they’d brought. They had also come equipped with cookies, pyjamas and a bottle of wine, presumably in case they would have to sleep the night in an igloo. We moved onto another bar, where I didn’t get asked for ID at all. We heard from Phil and Alex who said they would join us, then saw this email sent to upset Rob “Hi, Rob finally after a near two hour walk from Enfant Plaza I made it to the McGinty, the f place is closed! What's the alternate plan.. I am all frozen please help, SOS...call me. Alex”. Alex is so cruel! I immediately got a very distressed text from Rob telling myself and Ivan to find Alex and take care of him. We sent one back saying no, but then I felt mean and explained the situation and told him to play along. Rob sent a text to Phil saying how concerned he was about Alex and pleading for his help!

It stopped snowing at last. We made a move, and Ivan and Jorge taught me some Argentinian slang en route. We walked partway then found one of the few taxis still running, and went to Madam’s Organ in Adams Morgan, which had a flashing sign saying “Sorry, we’re open”. Ivan had a school friend there, and Phil and Alex came and joined us. We happily drank the evening away. Apparently Alex and Phil had gone to the liquor store to stock up for the blizzard and had spent the entire day drinking at Phil’s. Alex brought a squeezy bottle full of whisky, and helpfully told me it was water. The night nearly ended in tears when Alex whooshed me up and almost dropped me on my head during a spectacular surprise dance manoeuvre.